clarification
i should clarify one thing now that i'm back in the u.s. the post that seems to have stuck in the hearts and minds of my family and a number of my friends is the one in which i say i didn't feel safe posting certain details about our daily activities. even a month later, my grandmother still feels the need to interject with "yeah, but he didn't feel safe" when i'm telling someone about the trip.
the reason i posted it, and i do acknowledge it sounded quite cryptic, is because, for example, we were rehearsing at the american center, the cultural center in islamabad run by the u.s. embassy. the american center is a fortress, with tons of security guards and a number of pakistani military forces literally camped out in canvas tents outside its gates. on entering the complex, we were searched by metal detectors, had our bags searched, our cell phones (and anything else that could have a camera) confiscated and then were escorted into the building. this was pretty standard procedure, actually; in fact, minus the cell phone/camera confiscation, this was standard procedure for visiting foreigner-owned hotels. the sobering parts, however, were the glares and energy coming from the pakistani military camped outside the american center, staring us down.
it sounds like not-a-big-deal. i'm sure Sophiya will point out how she lives with it everyday and how i'm making something out of nothing; Emily has already tried to minimize the point on a comment. but it's fucking scary; i can't imagine it ever becoming not a big deal for me. it's feels intrusive and stuffy and demeaning.
anyway, in pakistan it's a liability to be associated with the u.s. in any official capacity--and being that neither marco nor i are american citizens, we wanted to capitalize on that distinction.
moving along, you can't help but think, "who exactly are these people? who's watching us?" it was made clear to us on several occasions, before we even made it to pakistan, that the americans were keeping an eye on us. i can't imagine they weren't collaborating with the isi, one of pakistan's intelligence divisions. that's why i didn't want to facilitate anyone else's trail on us by publishing on the internet, "hi, i'm that guy you see coming in and out of the american center;" "i'm the guy staying at the fulbright house. going to be in lahore this weekend!" etc. that's why i posted what i did.
--jcm
the reason i posted it, and i do acknowledge it sounded quite cryptic, is because, for example, we were rehearsing at the american center, the cultural center in islamabad run by the u.s. embassy. the american center is a fortress, with tons of security guards and a number of pakistani military forces literally camped out in canvas tents outside its gates. on entering the complex, we were searched by metal detectors, had our bags searched, our cell phones (and anything else that could have a camera) confiscated and then were escorted into the building. this was pretty standard procedure, actually; in fact, minus the cell phone/camera confiscation, this was standard procedure for visiting foreigner-owned hotels. the sobering parts, however, were the glares and energy coming from the pakistani military camped outside the american center, staring us down.
it sounds like not-a-big-deal. i'm sure Sophiya will point out how she lives with it everyday and how i'm making something out of nothing; Emily has already tried to minimize the point on a comment. but it's fucking scary; i can't imagine it ever becoming not a big deal for me. it's feels intrusive and stuffy and demeaning.
anyway, in pakistan it's a liability to be associated with the u.s. in any official capacity--and being that neither marco nor i are american citizens, we wanted to capitalize on that distinction.
moving along, you can't help but think, "who exactly are these people? who's watching us?" it was made clear to us on several occasions, before we even made it to pakistan, that the americans were keeping an eye on us. i can't imagine they weren't collaborating with the isi, one of pakistan's intelligence divisions. that's why i didn't want to facilitate anyone else's trail on us by publishing on the internet, "hi, i'm that guy you see coming in and out of the american center;" "i'm the guy staying at the fulbright house. going to be in lahore this weekend!" etc. that's why i posted what i did.
--jcm
posted by jcm at 7:54 PM
1 Comments:
on security--I wasn't trying to minimize the fact that it does feel like an invasion to have someone monitoring you that quickly. What I wanted to say is that, a) it's one big system of violence b) maybe it's good for those of us who live with it far away to feel it up close.
sorry for being unclear.
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